Growing up, many of us were taught to care about what others think. We were told to dress a certain way, behave a certain way, be the “good girl,” and pursue certain life paths that society deemed acceptable. It’s human nature to want to be accepted by others. However, the problem with this way of thinking is it can stifle our growth and prevent us from fully embracing who we are.
What does it mean to be unapologetically you? For me, it means being so anchored in who you are that no matter how big the emotional storm is, you'll still be standing there, comfortable with who you are down to your core. However, many of us go through life without being shown how to know who we are and be comfortable in our skin. It's part of the human experience to want to be accepted, validated, and seen, but at what cost? What would it feel like to live a life you accepted and celebrated, and it didn’t matter what the rest of the world thought? How liberating would that be?
Before moving forward, let’s first reflect on how it’s been so far, living your life for validation. Has it been supportive? Have you felt free to be your authentic self while pursuing the approval of others? Has it been fulfilling or satisfying? When we live for other people's validation, we're never truly happy because we constantly seek external validation rather than finding it within ourselves. But the magic begins when we find love, acceptance, and trust within ourselves. By becoming unapologetic in your evolution and letting go of other people's thoughts, you can create a life that aligns with your values and brings you fulfillment. This can reduce anxiety.
Here are seven tips to help you let go of what others think and become more unapologetic in your evolution:
Self-awareness is the first step in becoming unapologetic in your evolution. It's about knowing who you are, what you want, and what you stand for. When you're self-aware, you can identify where you might be living your life for someone else's validation and where you need to set stronger boundaries. Self-awareness also allows you to pay attention to the activities and people that energize and drain you and use that information to guide your decisions and actions.
To practice self-awareness, start by reflecting on your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Write in a journal or meditate to quiet your mind and listen to your inner voice. Pay attention to the stories you tell yourself and your beliefs about yourself and the world. Are they serving you or holding you back? Use this information to guide your decisions and actions in the future.
It’s All About Projections
Remembering that negative comments from others are more about them than about us is especially critical when learning to let go of what others think.
Many of us tend to base our self-worth on others' opinions, and this can lead to us taking negative comments to heart and feeling down about ourselves. However, by understanding that other people's negative comments are often more about their own issues, as we learned last month speaking about our Shadow Selves than about us, we can learn to let go of what others think and focus on our inner sense of self-worth.
It's imperative to remember that we can't control what others think or say about us, but we can control how we react to it. By maintaining a healthy level of self-confidence and not letting negative comments bring us down, we can live more fulfilling lives and be more accurate in ourselves.
Be true to yourself.
Yes, this is almost painfully cliché, but it’s crucial. It was a valuable lesson I learned in my early 30s.
Learning to be true to yourself instead of seeking validation from others is crucial for living a fulfilling and authentic life. When we base our self-worth on external validation, we give others the power to define who we are and what we stand for. This can lead to feelings of emptiness, disconnection from ourselves, and a lack of purpose in life.
On the other hand, when we learn to be true to ourselves and honor our values and desires, we can live a meaningful and fulfilling life. We can make choices that align with our true selves and pursue our passions without worrying about what others think.
One tip for being true to who you are is to explore your values and beliefs. Ask yourself what is meaningful to you, what motivates you, and what brings you joy. Honor these values daily, even if it means standing against what others expect of you.
Another tip is to practice self-compassion and self-acceptance. Recognize that you are not flawless and mistakes are okay. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grow and evolve over time. By cultivating a sense of self-acceptance, you can learn to trust your own instincts and be true to who you are, regardless of what others think or say.
Focus on your strengths.
Focusing on your desires and strengths can be crucial in learning to find validation within yourself rather than externally. By focusing on your desires, you can better understand what motivates and brings you joy. This can help you make choices that align with your true self and give you a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Similarly, focusing on your strengths can help you build self-confidence and recognize your unique value. You can focus on developing your skills and talents when you know your proficiency. You are less likely to need external validation.
By focusing on your desires and strengths, you can learn to trust your own judgment and be less reliant on others' opinions. This can help you live a more authentic and fulfilling life and feel more connected to yourself and your true passions.
Trust your intuition & surround yourself with supportive people.
Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Seek friends and family who celebrate your successes and encourage you to pursue your goals. Avoid people who bring you down or doubt you. When you surround yourself with supportive people, you're more likely to feel confident in who you are and less likely to seek validation from others.
Listening to your intuition and surrounding yourself with people who accept and celebrate you can be incredibly helpful in knowing where to give your energy. This is when we let go of external validation. Your intuition is the inner guide that helps you make choices that align with your true self. This will bring you closer to your desires and passions.
Similarly, when you surround yourself with people who accept and celebrate you, you can stay true to yourself and maintain a sense of self-worth that comes from within. These people can support you and remind you of your value, even when you are feeling unsure or vulnerable.
You can let go of external validation by listening to your intuition and surrounding yourself with positive influences. Instead, you can focus on what truly matters to you. You can learn to trust yourself and your judgment and feel more confident in making choices that align with your true self. This can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life and more profound inner peace and happiness.
Practice setting boundaries
Setting boundaries is an essential part of unapologetic evolution. Boundaries are the limits we set for ourselves in our relationships with others. They help us prioritize our needs and protect us from misuse or mistreatment. When you set and maintain healthy boundaries, you're more likely to feel empowered and in control of your life.
To practice setting boundaries, start by identifying the areas in your life where you need more control. You can also identify where others cross your boundaries. Communicate your needs clearly and respectfully to the people in your life, and be willing to enforce them if necessary. Remember, setting boundaries is not about being selfish or rude; it's about respecting yourself and your needs.
Becoming unapologetic in your evolution and letting go of other people's thoughts is a powerful way to create a life that aligns with your values and brings you fulfillment. By practicing self-awareness, focusing on your strengths, letting go of perfectionism, surrounding yourself with supportive people, and setting boundaries, you can create the life you want and be comfortable in your skin. Remember, validation is excellent, but the most significant validation comes from within yourself.
Embrace the imperfections that make you perfect and live a life you're passionate about!
Because, after all, this is your life, and there are no do-overs. When you reach the end of the road, you’ll sit there with yourself. Why not make that experience one of beauty, of a life well lived, full of risks, playing by your own rules, and most of all, one you love?