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Written By: Lorien A. Masters
Grief is a funny thing. It defies rules, timelines, and expectations. Just when you think you’re finding your footing, it has a way of knocking you back down. Grief doesn’t follow a predictable path, and no two people experience it in the same way. For some, it comes in waves; for others, it’s a steady undercurrent. What I’ve come to learn is that there’s no "right" way to grieve—there’s only your way.
Over the winter holidays, my partner and I faced the heartbreaking decision to say goodbye to our sweet girl, Miss Cleo. At 18 years old, Cleo was more than just a cat to me—she was my baby, my sidekick, my constant companion.
Cleo and I found each other in 2007. I had just moved out on my own and, having grown up surrounded by pets, it wasn’t long before I visited the Toronto Humane Society. There, I fell head over heels for a scrappy little one-eyed kitten who stole my heart. From the moment I brought her home, Cleo and I were inseparable. We grew up together, navigating the twists and turns of life. She was there through every roommate, every adventure, every late-night cry, and every moment of joy. She was woven into the fabric of my daily life, and imagining a world without her was unbearable. And yet, that moment came.
What surprised me most after her passing wasn’t just the absence of her presence, but the unexpected things I missed. You think it will be the cute moments you crave most, but instead, it’s often the things that irritated you. For me, it’s her insistent screaming in the morning as the sun started to rise, or the funny little snore she had when she slept. Those are the things I find myself longing for—the quirks that made her uniquely Cleo.
In the weeks since her passing, I’ve found myself reflecting on the profound relationship we shared and how it shaped me. Grief, as raw and gut-wrenching as it is, has a way of revealing truths about love and life. One of the most unexpected experiences of grieving Cleo has been the sense of moving through time and revisiting different versions of myself. In remembering her, I’ve also met myself at various stages of my life—from the young woman just starting out on her own to the person I am now, sharing a home and a life with my partner, Chris.
Cleo witnessed my growth in ways no one else could. She saw the prickly walls I built to protect myself and the gradual softening that came with finding safety and love. She was there for the moments when I hurt, when I was scared, and when I found the courage to open my heart. Her companionship was a reminder of the love we can share—not just with others, but with ourselves as we navigate life’s changes.
What has helped me during this time is sharing Cleo’s story with friends who loved her, asking them to share their own memories and photos if they have them. These moments of connection have been deeply comforting. I’ve also allowed myself to feel the emotions as they come—letting the sadness wash over me without letting it overtake me completely, though that can be a delicate balance. Journaling and quiet reflection have helped me process these emotions, and grounding activities like walking in nature have brought some peace. Leaning into my support system has been another lifeline. Grief can be isolating, but reaching out to loved ones, a therapist, or a coach has reminded me that I don’t have to carry this alone.
Losing Cleo has been one of the hardest experiences of my life, but it’s also illuminated the depth of love that grief represents. To grieve deeply is to love deeply. It’s a testament to the connections that shape us, to the lives that leave imprints on our hearts. Grief, in its rawest form, is a gateway into understanding who we are and what matters most.
For anyone navigating grief, I’d like to offer a few reflections:
What has your grief taught you about love?
How have the relationships in your life—with people or pets—helped you grow into the person you are today?
What moments of joy or connection can you hold onto, even in the midst of your loss?
Miss Cleo taught me so much about love, resilience, and the importance of finding safety within yourself and your surroundings. She helped me grow into the person I needed to become, and for that, I will forever be grateful.
To anyone grieving a loss, know that while it may feel unbearable at times, it is also a reflection of the love you’ve shared. In time, may your grief soften and transform into a celebration of that love. And may it lead you, as it has led me, to a deeper understanding of yourself and your path forward.
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